Peter Gibbons (thecure4ca) wrote,
Peter Gibbons


Last night I dreamt I was in a world that revolved around Brett Favre. Everybody had a cheesehead hat. Every channel on TV was Brett Favre. Brett was the chef on the cooking shows. Brett was hunting or fishing on the outdoor shows. He was playing football on ESPN. He was the baby's daddy on Springer. In schools, kids had to take Favre-101. They even had to learn how to speak Favre. If you wanted to say, "Do you want to partake in the football?"...In Favrese, that's "Fa Fu favant fo favrake favreball?" And getting an "F" is better than getting an "A". The grades are F, A, V, R and E. You don't wanna bring an "E" home to your parents. Also, BFE didn't stand for Bum Fuck Egypt. It stood for Brett Favre Egypt. So a typical conversation would go something like:

Brett Favre III - "Man, I got lost and ended up in the middle of BFE."

Brett Favre, Jr. - Cool. I wanna go to Brett Favre Egypt.

Yeah, so BFE wasn't a bad thing anymore. Of course, that's what things sounded like when people were speaking English, which was the second language, and not Favrese. Everyone had to wear green, because Brett only plays for teams with green uniforms. They even took red off traffic lights. Just green and yellow, the Green Bay Packers' colors. The lottery only had one number. Brett Favre's number - 4. Megamillions was 4-4-4-4-4-4 every night. Problem was after dividing the money with everyone else who won, ya got like $1 back, which was equal to about 4 Favrollars at the current exchange rate.

In the United Favres of Favre, you got to retire at age 38 which seemed way cool, but then you had to unretire 2 weeks later then re-retire and unretire again. Then go back to work for less pay. That's when I woke up. Right after I re-re-retired. And when I woke up, I discovered I wasn't actually in a dream world that revolved around Brett Favre. I was in the real world as Brett sees it.
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